Anticipating The First Cup: Thoughts and Feelings
When many of those come through our door, it isn't uncommon for people to experience a sense of uneasiness when it comes to drinking Ayahuasca. That at that moment of the first cup being poured, a sense of uncertainty can be felt within. Maybe you are feeling anxious, nervous about what may be inside and it being prone to coming out. But fear not, for even with me being a medicine man in training and yet to have had my first cup, I too get a bit antsy when it comes to the thought sometimes when thinking of how my first journey could go. However, at the same time, there is nothing to worry about.
When it comes to Ayahuasca, like any other newcomer, I too am uncertain as to what to expect in my journey. But some of what helps calm me down is a couple of simple realizations that internet research generally doesn't cover. For starters, when it comes to Ayahuasca journeys, just because someone has a blissful trip or experience an unpleasant time doesn't mean you'll have their experience. Ayahuasca is very individual specific, and even if the person you learned from had a similar life to yours, their experience will not be what you will experience. Much like in any daily life, not everyone starts their day or ends it the same like everyone else.
Another point that stuck with me when it comes to observing those who have been in our ceremonies is just to simply let the medicine do what it will do. Everyone comes through the door with intentions, with desires to adjust or fix something or just simply soul searching. However, when one is journeying and they rush in will the hope to seek out what they are looking for, such can cause a journey to turn heavy on the person. So for the first night, it is often best to approach the medicine with no intentions other than to simply just be. Whatever comes from it, even if it wasn't the colors and eye show, it is still the medicine finding a way to help you as it feels you can handle it. Or who knows, maybe there is more it is adjusting that you weren't aware of in the background, for some don't get a visual show due to the medicine tuning something you weren't aware was off. Or sometimes just simply, some people are more of feeling things via bodily than visually when it comes to the first time around.
These are a few things I've come to learn when watching and assisting in ceremonies and have helped me feel not so uneasy about my first cup. For some out there, I am certain are rather uneasy and maybe even petrified. Well, there isn't anything to be afraid of. At the end of it all, it will come back together. Just can get a little hectic sometimes, but that's what we are here for should you feel overwhelmed or even scared. One of us will be right there.